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Bringing Up Self-Sufficient Kids: The Effects of Single Parenting
Single parent households are beehives of creativity, persistence, optimism, and hard work. These are all great qualities to instill in the next generation of kids growing up. The effects of single parenting are evident in kids who learn early how to help out with the chores, be frugal, roll with the punches, and set realistic goals.
Children who grow up in a traditional home often are shielded from the adult problems and issues that they may be forced to face alone when they grow up. In single parent households, children will grow up understanding relationships shift and change, that there is such a thing as a budget, and that hard work often pays off where dumb luck isn't present.
Granted, some experts see this as a disadvantage and bemoan the sorry state of our divorce-prone society, but there is a possibility that effects of single parenting might be beneficial to single parents with children. These children grow up understanding that marriage is an option and not a necessity and may choose their partners more carefully. They also will understand that they need to learn to support themselves and not rely on marriage to save them. This will keep them solvent in the event they also suffer the loss of a spouse by death or divorce in the future.
Most of the negative effects of single parenting associated to the lack of a partner in the household are actually determined more by the lack of financial and social resources. Unfortunately, many single parents are vulnerable to poverty and are openly discriminated against in this society. However, those that have a good income and have a wealth of social and familial support around seem to instill a model of self-reliance and optimism that the children soon adopt as their own.
You can spot the child of a loving and successful single parenting household. They will be sensitive to the economic aspects of any purchase they want. They will offer to help others and be less self-centered and more giving. They will often attempt to do things on their own without realizing that someone might think they're too young for that. They will often make their own social or school arrangements and before you know it, they've scheduled themselves for driver's education and gotten their driver's permit. They have a great deal of initiative to be self-reliant.
To reap the benefits of these life lessons and promote positive effects of single parenting on children instead of the negative ones that permeate the media, one must learn to include the other partner, even though not in the household, in most of the child's activities. This provides the child with a network of support for them, even if it is not available for either parent. Where one parent may not want to share economic resources with another, they will gladly share it with their children who may have the initiative to ask.
Parents and grandparents, and even trusted neighbors can be helpful to give the child the means to pursue their goals with enough support to guide them. These children grow with a more realistic view of the world and what it takes to survive as effects of single parenting. They are ingenious, creative, and quite self-sufficient. They are survivors and the strength and determination with which they step out into the world is sure to reap dividends for them in the future.
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