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Single Mothers by Choice: A Guidebook for Single Women Who Are Considering or Have Chosen Motherhood
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CHRISTIAN SINGLE MOTHERS

 
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It is very difficult for members of traditional families to understand the special difficulties and needs of Christian single mothers. Although the Christian community takes a special responsibility in helping to support the material needs of single mothers, materials needs do not fully supply the needs of the Christian single mother. The unusual demands on the time and energy of the single mother put her at a disadvantage socially and she needs special understanding from the Christian community.

Christian single mothers, as all single mothers, are on a treadmill existence. They must work at least one full-time job and often a part-time job in order to satisfy the financial needs of the family. After the demands of the outside jobs are satisfied they must come home to care for the home and family. Single mothers rarely get a full night’s sleep, much less time for themselves to relax or to socialize or to devote to prayer. Prayer does not come easy for a chronically exhausted person, yet a Christian single mother especially needs the stimulus of a spiritual connection. A good alternative to prayer is to read small installments daily of spiritual texts. Another alternative is to join a prayer group that meets regularly. Although the prayer group is another item in a busy schedule, it does provide an atmosphere more conducive to prayer for an exhausted mother.

In the Christian community, unfortunately, a Christian single mother will often have to deal with condemnation. Christian single mothers who have never been married will deal with this condemnation most often however, divorced mothers will also suffer. The Christian single mother must not give in to the feelings of guilt that this condemnation will engender. Talks with pastors and prayer will help most of all when this burden becomes too great to bear alone.

The need to be forgiving is a special challenge for many Christian single mothers. The animosity of a divorce can be especially hurtful and cause deep feelings of resentment. The condemnation of others will add to the feelings of resentment and lack of self-worth. Women who have never been married may harbor feelings of resentment against the father who is not bearing any of the burdens of the family. Forgiveness is of the utmost importance, no matter what the situation because of the great healing powers of forgiveness and because it is central to the Christian faith. While forgiveness is difficult under these circumstances, it is the key to achieving a state of thankfulness and enjoyment of the life God has given us.




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